Roommates - SL

I had plenty of them --they'd come and go just like anything else in the Army.

SL was from California. She was quite a beautiful young lady --had even done some modeling. In my very humble opinion though, she wore much too much makeup--hid all that beautiful porcelain skin under layers of foundation. She was a slob beyond your normal slobs. She hardly ever did laundry and in fact, I think her clothes only got washed when they'd had enough and would walk themselves into the washer. It wasn't uncommon to see her picking clothes off of the floor and smelling them to see if they were still "wearable". She tried too hard at being fashion forward and so often she just looked like she was over accessorized or overly done or something. As far as soldiering goes --she was always a mess. Her long brown locks, which had to be pinned up above the collar, were always tumbling down out of their bobby pins looking nothing short of a spider web. She never ironed her uniform and polishing her boots was just unheard of. She was slow to get promoted. She drove a lot and ran errands a lot --that's really all I remember her doing. She had a boyfriend and they dated almost the entire time we were in Germany --I think he broke up with her just before he (or she) left. SL was funny and crazy. She was sweet as ever and would do anything for you and give to you anything she had. She used to cook on her iron (lord knows she wasn't using it to iron clothes). She would make grilled cheese, bacon, eggs, toast --just about anything that wasn't too soupy. I'll never forget one time I walked into the room and there she sat holding her iron upside down with bread on it. I asked what she was doing and she said, "Making breakfast." SL was a bit of an air-head and it was comical sometimes to see the light bulb go off in her head sometimes. She often had music playing and never ever got the lyrics right --but she sang what she thought they were. Sometimes I couldn't help but bust out laughing. She never talked much about her family except occasionally about her mom. I always found that quite odd --when people didn't talk insistently about their families, like I did. SL and the Army seemed like an unlikely pair and me and our other roommates often wondered how she even got through basic training. SL and I got along quite well. We never had any disagreements except for occasionally when her area got messy beyond what I could bear to look at, I'd tell her she needed to straighten up and she'd just roll her eyes and in her Valley Girl way say, "Yeah, I know. You guys must hate me!" I never hated SL.

SL ADORED her boyfriend and I think had hopes of marrying him but their 2 year relationship went sour when it was time for them to leave. I don't remember what ever happened to SL because after I moved out the the barracks I rarely saw her anymore. I have a vague recollection of her going off to a new duty station --but that I can't be sure of.

As far as roommates go, she was one of my favorites. She kept us all quite entertained.

Connie

Well Melissa, did you not have any girlfriends? I mean come on now --enough with the convicts, drug users and guys you "didn't date".

The answer is yes and no. Yes, I most certainly did have girlfriends. You have to understand there weren't many of us --females that is. So in some ways Tom and Rob and TD --they were all my "girlfriends" too. But I certainly did have female friends and my roommates and I always got along quite well.

Its kind of like this --the average was about --Oh I don't know let's say 30% females. From that 30% pool you discount any married women as all they wanted to do is hang out with their husbands, take care of their kids, etc. Then you have the ones that have a boyfriend and just take them out of the mix too because all they want to do is hang out with their boyfriend (like the one couple that always dressed alike and would have matching tshirts made with each other's name on them --I digress . . ). Now we take out of the mix the females that um --you know, preferred only female companionship and only wanted to be with females that shared that same interest. From what is left there are the ones you simply have nothing in common with. So what's left? Connie.

Connie was my roommate both in the barracks and later when we got an apartment together. We became good friends almost immediately and stayed ever so close our entire time in Germany. She had been "in country" a few months longer than me and so she also left a few months before me. We were absolutely inseparable to the extent everyone commented to that end, "When I see you (pointing to me) I see her (pointing to Connie)", was quite a common thing for the two of us to hear. Every day, and I do mean every single day, we'd go back to our barracks room for lunch and catch up with each other on the day -- She worked in PAC (like an HR of sorts) and so she always knew what was coming down the pipeline before anyone else did --and would always fill me in too. She and I spent countless hours talking about our families. She had a younger brother she was particularly extra fond of --and of course her Mom. For all of my travel expeditions, she was my travel companion. We'd hop on a train and make our way through Germany or get a weekend tour for a different country such as England or France.

Connie was everything to me, as far as friends go and without her I probably would have absolutely lost my mind over there in Germany. It was a tough assignment and the Army is a tough place to be especially for women. Connie always "had my back" but what I valued more than anything in our friendship was she was a person I could trust explicitly. Our company and living in the barracks was much like a small town --and small town gossip abounded. It was hard to know who you could trust sometimes. Because of my friendship with Connie, I was able to pull away from that --to not get caught up in the mix of it. We spent every holiday together and when we got our apartment, we put up a tree, decorated our apartment and made a Christmas meal.

I haven't blogged about Connie up until now because I knew it was going to be difficult for me to do for two reasons. One is that I simply cannot put into words what her friendship meant to me. I loved her like a sister. Secondly, its hurtful because Connie and I have not spoken in years and in fact, after leaving Germany we only spoke a few times, sent each other Christmas cards here and there but we never did see each other after the day she left Germany. Something happened, which I will not blog about, and it kind of changed things.

But in my heart of hearts, I still love her like my very own sister. I have the best and fondest memories of living and traveling with her in Germany and all over Europe. I couldn't possibly tell my Army story without mention of her --she was 90% of all my experiences while I was stationed at 1st AD. At times like this, recalling the past, I miss her terribly.

Last I heard she was living in Atlanta, GA and had a baby girl. I have no idea where she is now but I hope someday when I sign onto Facebook and see that message, "1 Friends Request", I'll click on it and there it will say Connie has sent me a friend request. She is the main reason I put my maiden name on my Facebook, Melissa Dodge Newsome, in case she's ever trying to find me.

So Connie, if you're out there -- give me a call!

Shopping for Make-up with a Convicted Felon

I guess I should explain something. NCOIC, Non-Commission Officer In Charge --and I had two of them. There was the NCOIC of Criminal Law and the NCOIC of the entire SJA office. The beauty of the Army is the Chain of Command. As long as you never break it, as in skip someone in that chain, it works beautifully.

The Crim Law NCOIC was the one that told me I couldn't go to court because he folded under the pressure of the very persistent prosecutor. I exercised my right to go up the chain and so I went to the SJA NCOIC. He didn't think there was a problem with me going and so he told the lower ranking Crim Law NCOIC to let me go. Yes, I did get my way a lot around there but that was because anything and everything that was expected of me (and then some), I did. It wasn't unusual for me to be at work late nights, weekends --in fact, I spent a lot of Sunday afternoons alone in the office preparing things for the week. I did tend to get my way a lot but I also earned that right.

SGT R and I headed off for court along with some other battalion JAG clerks. The prosecutor was none too happy to see me arrive. She took me into a small room and very angrily told me while shaking her skinny litter finger in my face, "If I find out you compromised this case in an manner, no matter how small or insignificant, I will see to it I personally prosecute your case and slam you in jail!" She then spun around on her heels and exited the room, slamming the door in very overly dramatic manner. She thought she was pushing some prosecutor weight around --I thought she was acting a spoiled drama queen -- you know, with all those weeks, not years, of practicing law under her belt. Whatever! The ink was not yet dry on her diploma. Grow up.

The trial was rather short and TD was convicted. When the court recessed for a break, for the first time I could tell TD was scared. Up until then he had been his normally jolly self --a very easy going guy with a great sense of humor. Now he was quiet and even a bit agitated. Having already been found guilty, the reality of jail time was ever present. TD, SGT R, the defense attorney and I all sat in a small room together waiting to be called back in for sentencing. When it was taking longer than we anticipated, we decided to get some lunch. TD was fortunate in that he was not under any pre-trial confinement so he was free to go. The defense attorney was a little concerned it was taking so long to be called back in. He said that didn't look good.

After lunch we were called back in. Just like on TV, the defendant was asked to stand to hear his imposition of punishment. I was sitting right in the front next to SGT R, who was very much hoping TD was not going to get any confinement. She was really into the case and I think because of her own husband's disposition.

The Judge said a few words and then read the sentence which consisted of a fine, Dishonorable Discharge, Reduction in rank . . . .and 6 months confinement. As soon as the Judge said, "six months confinement" SGT R screamed out loud and grabbed and hugged me. I just sat there wondering why she was being so dramatic about it. As soon as court was dismissed the Prosecutor FLEW out of that court room. Again, just like on TV the Judge was sitting at a very high bench, the attorneys each had a table in front of the judge. Just behind the attorneys was a small wooden railing with a gate in the center that swung open. Behind the railing were wooden benches for the spectators to sit on. The Prosecutor threw her papers into her brief case and shoved that gate open and stormed herself out of court. By this time, the rest of us had gathered into the small waiting room and here comes Miss snobby prosecutor herself -- she storms into the room and gets right into my face and yells, "DON'T YOU EVER BURST OUT LIKE THAT IN MY COURTROOM AGAIN!!!!! IF YOU DO I WILL SEE TO IT YOU GET SOME NONJUDICIAL PUNISHMENT."

I just stood there starring at her because I thought she was making a fool of herself. Still wet behind the ears as an attorney, she had some weight to push around and I guess I seemed like the path of least resistance. What I found most amusing is that she wasn't even remotely in my Chain of Command so really there wasn't much she could do to me. Besides, I wasn't even the one that yelled out in court, that was SGT R.

TD was placed in the custody of SGT R and then later that night she was to turn him over to the MP's (Military Police). So we casually left court, prisoner in tow. Since I didn't drive, it was a rare treat for me to be out in a car --not having to wait for a bus to get me to and fro. On the way back we stopped at a store and I remember I bought some mascara because like I said, it wasn't often I was able to get to a store other than the very poorly stocked Shoppette that was on Hindenburg. I found the entire thing to be a bit surreal --me shopping for make-up with a convicted felon. We were really taking out time because we knew once we got back to Hindenburg, TD had to be turned over to the police. We asked him if there was anything he wanted to do or eat before we got back. He didn't want anything. He was very quiet.

We got back to SJA after duty hours for which I was glad so no one would be in the office. SGT R called the MP's to come pick TD up. I didn't wait around because one they got there they'd have to put TD in handcuffs and Ididn't want to see that. So SGT R waited there with him. I went to say goodbye and I wasn't sure exactly what to say. Like what?? "Have fun in jail?" What do you say to a guy going off to federal prison? I stood in front of him and I guess he too knew there wasn't much to say. He put his hands on my face, pulled me towards him and kissed me on the forehead. It was very sweet and tender and not in any sort of romantic way. I hugged him goodbye and left. That was the last time I ever saw him.

It wasn't long before I got a letter from TD. He was staying in Mannheim for a while before being transferred to Ft. Leavenworth. We exchanged a few letters over the next several months. Since his sentence was only for 6 months. I think it was later decided he'd not be transferred to Ft. Leavenworth but would stay at Manheim for the duration of his sentence. After that, he was sent back home to California.

TD wrote me from home and told me his mother agreed to buy me a plane ticket to come to CA to visit him. I didn't want to use my leave time going out to CA. I didn't want his mother to pay for my trip. I din't want my friendship with TD to go any further and just the fact that he asked me to come out to CA seemed he was wanting more of a relationship. I didn't want to mess things up with SSG Newsome and even if the visit out to CA was completely platonic, how would that look? "Okay so Sergeant Newsome, I'm flying out to CA to visit this guy and meet his family but we are just friends and so --I'll see you when I get back!" Uh yea, I don't think that would have gone over well.

I wrote TD back and told him I didn't want to come to CA. I never heard from him again.

Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum

One day my NCOIC told me we were getting two new JAG soldiers in and he wanted me to show them around. I was a bit confused because I knew we didn't have any positions open. I asked what they'd be doing and he told me, "You just let me worry about that." Oookayyy --

So two new guys came in and really they weren't new --they just transferred from a battalion in our division. Usually when someone comes to HQ's its because they're in trouble. Yup --these two were in trouble. There wasn't any room in our barracks so the two were put into a room on the PSC side. I helped get them settled in. They were both SP4's; one was in the Army much longer than me and the other one about the same time as me. One guy was single and the other married and had two young daughters but his wife and kids had gone back to the states.

Well, I worked Division JAG so I saw all of the cases that were tried in our division and it wasn't long before Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum's names came across my desk. Both were charged with possession and intent to distribute. I tell you, there was something about me that was a magnet to people doing drugs!!!!! Since the two were awaiting trial they could not do any JAG work so essentially they did mostly nothing all day --except for some gopher work here and there. And somehow, like Tom and Wanda and The Medic -- the two became my friends.

The married soldier didn't stay around as long. His trial date came up pretty quickly. But before he left, yes he was convicted and served time, I got to know him as a person, not as a guy awaiting trial --if that makes any sense. He was young, had a young wife and seemingly a good life. Why the drugs? I don't' know. After being arrested, both were administered a urinalysis and came up clean so they weren't doing drugs --just selling. the guys wife went home and was going to file for divorce. There was a ton --I mean like the weight of the world sized regret in his voice and manner. He knew he screwed up big time.

The other guys was around for much longer because he got an extension. Once his buddy left, he and I spent a lot of time together. I was again in this double agent type mode. Everything I knew and worked on from the Prosecutors I could not tell him and yet, he trusted me explicitly and would tell me all the details of his case, from a defense perspective. I could not cross either line. Sometimes that was difficult because he'd be telling me something and I know information to the contrary and yet, I couldn't tell him --and vise versa while I was working with the prosecutors. In fact, the prosecutors weren't exactly happy I was so chummy with the "enemy" and had once warned me that everything in our office was confidential. Well duh! Not only did I know that, I spent my ENTIRE military career scared to death of going to jail, I wasn't about to cross the line in any way shape or form!!!! As long as I knew my place both as a JAG specialist and friend to Tweedle Dee, I didn't see a problem with the friendship. The prosecutor, a fisty female soldier, didn't see it my way.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum were names given to our two friends by our Warrant Officer. I mean, we never called them that to their face but that's how they were referred to around the office.

There was only one time I even told TD any information at all about his case --- coming up to his trial I had spent and entire 2 days setting up the jury, because juries were my responsibility. They were a pain too because very few people wanted jury duty!!!!! There were actually a few that liked it but for the most part, they all did their best to get out of serving, much like in the cinvilain sector too. The only thing I had ever said to TD was one day after work we went to dinner together and he asked how my day was and I said, "It was horrible! I was setting up a jury for an upcoming trial and I had one excuse after another . . ." Then I stopped because I realized the jury was for his trial!!! He smiled. We quickly changed the subject.

Though going to court was a rare thing for me, I did arrange to be at TD's trial. Before hand, he had to get a few personal things in order. He really knew no one at HQ's so he gave me power of attorney in the event he was convicted and got confinement, he needed someone to pack up his personal belongings and have them sent home. Remember SGT R? Well, she kind of took to TD also because of her own circumstance with her husband going to jail. She also arranged to go to TD's trial and in fact, I was going to ride with her.

The day before trial right towards the end of the day I got the news the defendant had changed his mind and instead of jury trial we were going Judge Only. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Do you realize what a pain that was? I mean, getting people on the jury was difficult enough but then getting them off of the jury was an even bigger pain. We had phones --so I would call but keep in mind we didn't have call-waiting or voice mail so time after time, I'd get busy signals or so-in-so wasn't in so I'd have to call back. It was a huge pain!!!

That day after work I walked out of the office and TD was standing there and he walked up to me and said, "I'm sorry but I couldn't tell you." He was referring to the fact that he knew all that work I had done setting up the jury was for not --oh well, such is my job, I guess.

The night before trial TD and I had dinner together. We went through is personal things and he told me what he wanted packed, where to send it, etc. We spent the whole night together and yes, I do mean I spent the night in his room and NO, I don't mean anything was going on because it wasn't but somehow as the night went on, I just fell asleep in the empty bunk (Tweedle Dum's former bunk) and there I stayed the night. Well, we weren't allowed to have opposite sex overnight guests in the barracks so the next morning I had to sneak out -- I exited down the fire escape and did my "walk of shame" back to my barracks. I was still very much interested in Sergeant Newsome and still seeing him so with TD it was all strictly platonic friendship but even so, I didn't like walking into my barracks in the same clothes I had on the day before. No matter how innocent it was, I still got all those looks and stares like, "I know what YOU did last night."

The day of trial I was all set to go with SGT R. She told me if TD didn't get convicted or confinement, we were going to have a huge party at her house that night. The prosecutor got wind of my "overnight adventure" with TD, like any small town gossip would fly. She was TICKED OFF! Throughout this whole time, which I think spanned a few months, I was warned time and time again against my friendship with TD by the prosecutor and it really didn't set well with me. First of all, I was offended she trusted me so little. I did my job. I knew my job. I did my job quite well. Secondly, I thought it to be none of her business who my friends were. No one else in JAG had a problem with it, including my NCOIC and the Colonel so why she was so bent out of shape about it, I don't know. She insisted I not be allowed in court because it was a conflict of interest. Conflict? Is she crazy? That morning I was told by my NCOIC I'd not be allowed to go to court.

Oh yeah? We'll just see about that!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow . . .You're Only A Day Away

To my faithful blog followers (all 3 of you),

I spent the weekend in Chicago celebrating my Dad's 70th birthday! It was a great trip but I am exhausted. On the way home we stopped in Indy because the girls wanted to school shop at the Circle Center Mall. I luckily found a little "Rejunvenation Station" where I plopped myself down and played Tetris and Yahtzee on my phone!

I'm also sick again, or still and my voice is down to a whisper (which I think my family sort of is enjoying). And so today instead of trying push through it like I have been doing, I'm actually going to rest and take some meds and try to get better.

Two paragraphs later --all I really need to tell you is I'll not be posting today but hope to have something for tomorrow.

Lunchroom Romance

Okay so Newsome and I have been spending more time together but he still treats me like two different people; Melissa and The Private. I'm like a crazy school girl deep in puppy love. When he talks, I latch onto every single word with the sincerest of interest, devotion, thrill, amazement, wonder . . . .I find all of his Army stories daring and entertaining. In his voice, you can hear his love for the Army. It is quite apparent to me he's Army true and true, inside and out. If he got cut he'd not bleed red or even Army green but probably camouflage. He also talked a lot about his family which was so enduring and a bit rare. Most the people I've come across in the Army so far were quite opposite --did not want to talk about family or where they were from. I think in some cases, they were trying to escape from that life and talking about it probably drudged up some pain. I found it quite refreshing to find someone that wanted to talk about their family. He scored bit points with me on that one.

But here I am now and I got this crazy idea I needed to be more "Army", tough and strong and Airborne qualified. I went to my 1SG and told him I wanted to go to Airborne school. I'm sure he got quite a chuckle out of me (probably on more than one occasion too). He told me unless it was a requirement for my job, which it was not, I couldn't go but he could recommend me for school in conjunction with my PCS. In other words, I could go when I left Germany and enroute to my new stateside duty station.

Well that just wasn't acceptable to me. I wanted to go now! How ever could I impress Newsome if I'm not like you know --Little Miss Airborne. Ugh. I was so disappointed and it was at least a year before I'd be leaving Germany. I'd have to come up with a new plan. In the meantime, I'd track myself over to the HQ's building every chance I got. You could practically see the entire kaserne standing in one spot so if I ever saw Newsome heading over to the Mess Hall for a meal, I'd get over there as fast as I could to try to you know --happen to run into him like, "Oh hi Sergeant Newsome, I didn't know you were here!" If he ever saw me in the Mess Hall he'd almost always sit with me or if I came in afterwards, ask me to join his table.

This was lunchroom romance at it's best!

Today

No post today. I'm home sick with what feels a lot like food poisoning.

Will post tomorrow.