PLDC V

I get to formation but not without a lot of strange looks --everyone that passed by me would look down around my ankles and give me a very strange glance.

And that made me feel all the more uncomfortable.

So all the while trying to maintain some level of composure and keep walking with some measure of confidence, I'd try to shimmy my pantyhose back up by running my  hand along the side of my skirt --I think in doing so I just made the situation worse.

But thankfully, our class was huge and my formation was smack dab in the middle and so I could at the very least bury myself among soldiers . . . .

And speaking of soldiers, where are all the females?  Outside of the few roommates I had, all I saw was a sea of male soldiers --green Class A jackets are far as the eyes could see --which really wasn't that far considering my stature and fact that I was trying to slump down and not be seen but you know --as far as my eyes could see --there's weren't very many females.

And that made me feel all the more uncomfortable.  These aren't just JAG soldiers --these are the front line go-to-war guys.  These are the defenders of our freedom, the ones that get sent right into action, the soldier of all soldiers.

And me?  I'm just a JAG clerk in a pair of chocolate brown pantyhose that are gathered around my ankles --making me look like I have brown elephant legs.  I'm too short to see what ever else is going on.  I hear snickers behind me.  I'm stupid.  I'm short.  I'm unprepared.  I'm as NON-Army as it gets and here I stand.

The school Commandant begins to welcome us and he starts in . . . . . as every single Army training class seems to begin . . . .the statistics of doom and gloom.  He tell us to look to our left and to our right and then tells us, "One of those people you just looked at won't graduate this class.  It's not because we can't graduate them, its that they cannot graduate themselves."  Did you catch that?  The school doesn't fail to ensure your success rate, the soldier fails to ensure his (or her) own success rate.  And then he goes on to tell us the reasons some of us won't graduate.  Inevitably  --

One or more female soldiers will have a positive pregnancy test (before any training all females have to have a pregnancy test and all soldiers are tested for drugs).

Some will come up hot on a urinalysis.

Unfortunately, some soldiers will get that dreaded Red Cross call and have to go home.

Some soldiers will fail the course.

Some will get sent back to their unit because of discipline problems.

Some will simply give up.

The rest of them --they will graduate.

And all the whille all I could really concentrate on was, "Is there a back way out of this place so I don't have to walk down that hall with my dark brown pantyhose sliding down my legs?"