Army Characters

Here's a few people that have no certain story line but they were memorable characters nonetheless.

The Fakin' Jamaican. There was an E7 that came to our division and claimed to be from Jamaica and even spoke with an accent. Everyone thought he was so cool and of course the females would all swoon over him and his accent. I wasn't interested at all. He was also a very decorated soldier --had a TON of badges, including a Drill Sergeant Badge. It wasn't long before things seemed a little off. People started to notice that the Sergeant seemed to come in and out of his accent when you talked to him for a long period of time. Also, the real Drill Sergeants would try to talk Drill Talk to him and he'd be very vague in his answers or avoid the subject all together. Drill Sergeants are their own special breed in the Army and they love to flock together. This particular Sergeant wasn't' like the others. Hmmm --I smell a rat! It wasn't long before everyone started calling this Sergeant the Fakin' Jamaican because it was obvious his accent was fake. It was also soon discovered he wasn't from Jamaica at all but some place in NY, though his mother was from Jamaica, he himself had been born and raised in NY and didn't have a real accent at all. He had a girlfriend and it wasn't until after she got pregnant that she found out he had a wife and kids --like several of them, 6 or so. But here's the biggest newsflash. Not only wasn't he a Drill Sergeant EVER -- but most of his awards and decorations were all fake. He faked his military records. Having previously worked in a unit where he dealt with military records, he took other soldiers awards and certificates and duplicated them only adding his own name. We're talking before scanners and such so he was a pretty good at what he did. What made me so angry though was that he only got a slap on his wrist. He got an Article 15 for falsifying documents but that was all --and they didn't even take any rank from him. In my experience in JAG I have seen Privates go to Federal Prison for much lesser offenses. To this day I can get all caught up in a fit of anger when I think about it --so unjust!!!!

SSG D. Staff Sergeant D was an ex-Drill Sergeant (a real one) and he was SSG Newsome's Army twin. The two of them had very similar military careers and as far as soldiering goes, they were very much alike and even though they didn't particularly look alike, people in our unit often confused the two of them. Everyone loved when Newsome or D ran PT because they could sing cadence and motivate you. When they lead PT it made you want to keep running and running. D liked to sing, "Who's got the yo-yo" and he'd run up and down the formation singing and I'm telling you, even for this slow lowly runner, I'd want to run on and on and on. D called everyone "Soldier" and he often made "on the spot corrections" much like Mess Sergeant did only --she was mean and D was not. Can't explain it because D wasn't nice either --he was just kind of tough yet fair and funny. D will play a part in a story soon.

SP4 F. She was a JAG clerk like me. She worked post-trial, I worked pre-trial. How does one describe SP4? She was very loud -- very loud and always just talking to be talking, not really saying anything. Its not like people disliked her yet, no one liked her either. She would just blurt out inappropriate things. She was always on the borderline of making weight standards and had a very large very round um -- backside and the "backside" was often the subject of many conversations among the male soldiers. She was a single mother with and had a young son, around age 5 or so. She had been in the Army for-ever! and was still only an E4. She wasn't the brightest or best of soldiers in fact, kind of lazy and more than crazy. Her uniforms were so faded they were almost white. Her boots were never shined. Her hair was always in braids with the ends all tattered and loose. She was kind of just a mess most of the time and everyone in the division knew her because no matter where she was and no matter where you were, you could hear her talking and laughing and saying stupid things. Sometimes she and I would have to go places together and it would often embarass me when we did. BUT --she had a heart of gold. She was one of the most genuine people I have ever met in my life. She struggled to raise her son alone and tried to do the best she could for him. I never asked anything of her but I knew if I ever needed anything she'd be more than happy to help. Years after I got out of the Army and was living in Georgia I got a call out of the blue. In her very loud yet raspy crazy voice I heard, "Hey Dodge!!! It's me!!!!" How she ever found me, since my last name was different, I'll never know but I was very touched that she went through the trouble to do so. She was then stationed in Atlanta and remarried and seemed to be happy. I was glad for her.

MAJ H (he later became LTC H and then even later I heard he was COL H). He was such a nice man. He was very handsome man, dressed ever so spiffy and was so smart and sharp all of the time. He was older, and I'm not sure how much but let's just say older, and single. Never having been married, he was quite a "catch" for any woman but he claimed he just had not found the right one. He had that "Officer and a Gentleman" quality about him. He always wore an MIA bracelet. One day I asked him if I could see it so he held his arm out and there engraved was a soldier's name, rank and when/where he was MIA, in this case it was Vietnam. I got chills when I read the name. MAJ H invited me, along with all of the other single soldiers, to his house for dinner for every single holiday. I never did take him up on it because I always had already made plans but it meant a lot to me just to be asked. He finally got married and he said it made Mrs. H, as in his Mother, a very happy woman! Later while stationed at Ft. Benning, GA I ran into his wife at the BX. They had a baby girl and her name was Amanda, just like my baby girl!

CPT M was another JAG officer. He had only been married a few months when he first got to Germany. He used to crack me up because he'd come into the office on Saturdays and remember, I often worked weekends too. I'd ask him what he was doing in on a Saturday and he'd say, "It was this or scrub toilets." and that used to crack me up. Every week it was a different chore he was trying to get out of at home, "It was this or do the windows." He was like a kid in a man's body.

SSG W's wife. She was another character but I think she deserves a post all her own!