Writing Letters

I have a huge box of letters Jerry and I exchanged mostly while I was in Kansas but also over the years while he was deployed.  I decided to publish a few but they aren't going to be in exact chronological order --the box is huge and it would be much too time consuming to sort through them --but I'll pull a few here and there.

Starting with this letter.

October 10, 1988

Jerry,

Well baby, I'm happy you called me.  I hope now you feel better knowing Baby and I are fine.  You may be a little angry or upset with me for not writing but please don't stay that way for long.

I know you don't understand what I am going through with Mom.  I can talk to people about it and no one sees my grief and pain.  Its when I'm alone it all hits me.  Jerry, I know and believe the Lord has wonderful plan for all of us.  I know he answers prayer.  But, I also know he may want to take Mom.  I don't think you realize the seriousness of Mom's illness.  I just want to be prepare for anything.  I wish you be here with me.  Sometimes I just feel like being held in your arms and crying it out.  Hey Sweetheart, I appreciate your prayers and support.  Mom appreciates it too.  I love you.

Mom sent us $300 for the baby.  I bought a few things but not much.  I'll save the rest.  I'm sure there will be plenty we need.

Its getting more and more difficult to carry this baby around.  I'm so big.  I feel bigger than I actually am.  I get tired real easily.  My back, feet & legs hurt if I stand or walk too much.  Baby doesn't kick as much because he/she is getting cramped inside of me!  But he/she does move around a lot.  I kind of have a feeling baby will arrive before you do. I hope not because I need you here with me. But, in the event baby wants out early, my sister will be here so I won't be alone.

That brings me to another subject.  Jerry, please don't think I don't want my sister here while you're here because I'm embarrassed of you!  It's nothing like that at all!  In fact, I'm very anxious for you to meet my family and they want to meet you as well.  The problems is I just don't have the room for everyone here.  Val said she may even bring Mom if she's up to it.  I guess it will all work out but I just feel like I'm always letting everyone down.

Well, I'm going to my usual place --bed!  More tomorrow.

Love,

Melissa