My Captain, MY Baby

One of the difficult things to deal with in regards to my pregnancy was the way others treated me or reacted to my pregnancy.  I hated it.  It made me feel cheap.

And My Captain was no different than everyone else.  Keep in mind, this was over 22 years ago and the military tends to be a very conservative environment --attitudes today have changed somewhat.

But people just assumed things about me because I was unwed and pregnant; stupid, slutty, ignorant, poor . . just to name a few.  And I got a lot of pity too.  Like, "poor unwed mother doomed to a life of poverty and scorn."  And My Captain assumed something else about me, too.  He assumed because I was not wed that perhaps I was open to adoption.

Seriously.  The nerve of some people.

My Captain was a good 'ol Catholic boy.  He and his wife had 3 or 4 boys.  I can't remember which but it was a brood of boys.  And Mrs. My Captain wanted nothing more in life than a little girl of her very own.  But she was afraid on her very own, she'd not produce a little girl.

One day I was in My Captain's office and I'm not exactly how the conversation transpired but he point blank asked me if I was considering adoption.

*cricket, cricket*

I didn't know how to respond because you see, there were actually a lot of people bringing up the adoption subject but at least those people were related to me and had a genuine interest in me and my baby.  This guy?  This Captain?

And the conversation only got worse.  Because you see, he and his wife had apparently been talking about my pregnancy and wondering if I was thinking about adoption and if I was and if I had a girl, would I be willing to give them my baby.

*cricket, cricket*

I was offended on so many levels but I, unlike the Captain, was keeping my military bearings about me.  In other words, I was still a Sergeant talking to a Captain, not an unwed mother talking to a ---well, jerk.  And I remember instantly wanting to guard my heart and my thoughts.  This huge brick wall just started to surface and I was closing myself off to My Captain.

Sir, I realize all of the options that are before me and I realize that bringing a child into this world as an unwed mother is not ideal however; that is a very personal choice and it is only a decision the baby's father and I will make but just because we aren't married doesn't mean we are not "together" in this. 

He was so casual about it like he had just asked if I wanted to sell him my car or something, "Oh okay well, I just thought I'd ask.  If you do decide to go the adoption route just let me know.  My wife and I would love to adopt a little girl."

Ironically, not too long afterwards his own wife did become pregnant again and yes, they even had a girl.

But ever since that day, I kept My Captain on a strictly professional level and I never discussed anything related to my pregnancy to him.

And maybe there was something in the water.  Pregnancies were popping up all over.  And none of us were even Fesslers.