To me --he's just Tom

I just sat there waiting for the, "Just kidding!" because Tom was silly like that and like I said, we were not nor did I want to be dating. I thought that was understood.

What I was learned most from my friendship with Tom was how different people come from different backgrounds and end up in the same place. It was obvious to me Tom's family life was much different from my own. Outside of the Army, its very unlikely he and I would have or could have been friends. I was learning to see people for who they were, the core of them. I didn't see Tom as an alcoholic or drug user or New Yorker --I just saw him as the person he was, a young man with faults and sin. I was a young woman with faults and sin. Though they might have been different, we were basically the same. I had never been able to see people like that before. Not too long out of high school and college, I was still in that mode of seeing people as the jock, burn-out, brain, etc. It was an important life lesson for me and though Tom was a bit of trouble and our friendship did not last, I'll always remember him as the one that helped me grow into learning those things.

I almost laughed when Tom proposed but when I saw he was serious I held back. I asked him, "Why do you want to marry me?" He didn't respond with anything about feelings for me, our relationship or future he just said, "Because I think I can be a better person with you." It made me feel so sorry for him. In the course of knowing him, he was trying to be better. On occasion he'd proudly tell me he hadn't "used" in so many days --usually no more than two. I knew he wanted change in his life but he falsely thought I could be that change for him. I witnessed to him on several occasions but that never seemed to get any where. He had a distant reverence for God and wanted to keep it that way. I explained to him I didn't think wanting to be a better person was a reason to get married. He agreed.

I spent less and less time with Tom until I really rarely saw him --even around the company. He was spending more and more time with his German friends and less time with any soldiers. He eventually was busted by the German police for drug possession and/or selling. I never did find out the details of his case as the Germans didn't release jurisdiction --they wanted to try him in German court. That was HUGE --I mean, we got jurisdiction on almost ALL cases including charges such as rape and murder. I assume Tom's charge was a very serious offense, distribution and/or being in possession of a large quantity. It was several months later I got word he was convicted and got a very long sentence in German prison. Its quite possible he's still in prison even yet today. Which, overseas prison isn't quite as "nice" in comparison to American standards. When I first heard the news I was very sad. My first thought was, "I hope he speaks German well enough to get by." My second thought was about his mother. I wondered if she knew what happened, if she cared, if it broke her heart, if she'd ever see her son again.

You know the funny thing? I don't even remember his last name. To me he's just Tom --that Italian guy from New York that became a good friend, helped me through a tough time ----and for that, I was very thankful for his friendship.

Around the company he became known as "That guy that went to German prison."