The General

We got word the Judge Advocate General would be visiting the 1st AD. As you can imagine, for a General's visit there is much to prepare for because we can't exactly let him see business as usual, now can we? This is THE General of the JAG corps --the master of that pulls all those strings that make the JAG puppets perform. And as any good little puppet would do, we were busy shining our boots, polishing our brass and getting our offices dressed right dressed. News of the General's visit especially had our officers in a tailspin --officers like to impressed higher ranking officers. But for me, having already been fully indoctrinated in conversing with Generals and Be My Little General firmly implanted in my military mind, I was confident I'd get through the visit unharmed (and unnoticed).

One of my military pet peeves is well how do you say it nicely? In the Army we simply call it --sucking up, brown nosing, kissing *** --you get the idea. RHIP -Rank Has Its Privileges is a concept even the lowliest of privates understands but to further that thought, those in favor of those in higher rank are afforded certain privileges as well. Its the same basic concept as the old adage, "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". So if you're nice to the higher-ups, they in turn will (or should or could) be nice to you. Seems like a fair deal however; one that never set well with me. It's so phony and just situated to me. Though I had a great respect (and fear) for those that out ranked me and I knew how and where to stand my military ground, I wasn't in the business of sucking up and found it pitiful to watch those in the process of doing so. I'd like to say it was from some great moral stance that I took or that I had such a strong work ethic and sense of meritorious duty and whereas I do believe that however I think my refusal to be one of those stemmed more from a deeply rooted rebellious streak in me. Having first tasted the bittersweet fruit of rebellion by firmly planting my chubby 2 year old feet in defiant refusal to pick up some toys (a story my father still tells to this day), I've always had this tendency to buck authority. And whereas bucking authority is greatly frowned upon in the military, my refusal to suck up was my subliminal form of rebellion.

The General was to spend most of his short visit with us at division headquarters but he'd also spend some time at a few of the battalions. Being they were quite spread out and the General's time was limited, it was decided our Colonel would fly with the General by helicopter to the places he was to visit within our division. And so preparations were made to that end. Of course, a helicopter does seat more than 2 people so there were some discussions as to who would get to fly with the Colonel and General --let the sucking up begin! The lieutenants were besides themselves trying to gain favor with the Colonel for a coveted seat on the helicopter. Like I said, officers like to hang out *cough* suck up --with higher ranking officers. The higher enlisted ranks, E7 and above, were less than impressed. They've been around the Army long enough to have had their share of Generals and helicopter rides. The other enlisted, one E4 in particular, was busy in the business of gaining favor with the Colonel. Me? Not impressed! Psh! I was already like this *crosses fingers* with the Commanding General himself --having painted his tank for him --I'm sure he was forever indebted to me. As far as Generals go, that was old news for me.

Okay so truth be told --first, I wasn't in the business of brown nosing my way through the Army. Second, I was terrified of rank and a General was the highest you could go. The higher the rank, the greater my fear. Thirdly, I was just a JAG Private, a paper pusher. In the realm of the Army and 1st AD, I was merely --nobody. And why would the Colonel want to waste a seat on the helicopter on nobody when there were so many somebodies to choose from?

The day arrived. Our beloved JAG General highness was in our very presence. He made a swift walk through the office. We stood at attention --he waved us to be seated and at ease and --normal. He didn't have as much a commanding presence as I had expected and to the contrary, seemed more like a Grandpa than a General. He spent most of the day with our Colonel and of course, our CG. Later that afternoon the Major called my NCOIC into his office. That wasn't exactly a normal thing and I just assumed in some manner, we disgraced our royal General and now our NCOIC was going to get chewed out for it --then we'd in turn get the same. When the NCOIC returned he went to his desk, stood there looking around for a minute then said, "Private Dodge, the Major wants to know if you want to ride along with them tomorrow . . " That's all I heard.

You! Have! To! Be! Kidding! Me! Me? Helicopter? General? Me? Crazy!