Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum

One day my NCOIC told me we were getting two new JAG soldiers in and he wanted me to show them around. I was a bit confused because I knew we didn't have any positions open. I asked what they'd be doing and he told me, "You just let me worry about that." Oookayyy --

So two new guys came in and really they weren't new --they just transferred from a battalion in our division. Usually when someone comes to HQ's its because they're in trouble. Yup --these two were in trouble. There wasn't any room in our barracks so the two were put into a room on the PSC side. I helped get them settled in. They were both SP4's; one was in the Army much longer than me and the other one about the same time as me. One guy was single and the other married and had two young daughters but his wife and kids had gone back to the states.

Well, I worked Division JAG so I saw all of the cases that were tried in our division and it wasn't long before Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum's names came across my desk. Both were charged with possession and intent to distribute. I tell you, there was something about me that was a magnet to people doing drugs!!!!! Since the two were awaiting trial they could not do any JAG work so essentially they did mostly nothing all day --except for some gopher work here and there. And somehow, like Tom and Wanda and The Medic -- the two became my friends.

The married soldier didn't stay around as long. His trial date came up pretty quickly. But before he left, yes he was convicted and served time, I got to know him as a person, not as a guy awaiting trial --if that makes any sense. He was young, had a young wife and seemingly a good life. Why the drugs? I don't' know. After being arrested, both were administered a urinalysis and came up clean so they weren't doing drugs --just selling. the guys wife went home and was going to file for divorce. There was a ton --I mean like the weight of the world sized regret in his voice and manner. He knew he screwed up big time.

The other guys was around for much longer because he got an extension. Once his buddy left, he and I spent a lot of time together. I was again in this double agent type mode. Everything I knew and worked on from the Prosecutors I could not tell him and yet, he trusted me explicitly and would tell me all the details of his case, from a defense perspective. I could not cross either line. Sometimes that was difficult because he'd be telling me something and I know information to the contrary and yet, I couldn't tell him --and vise versa while I was working with the prosecutors. In fact, the prosecutors weren't exactly happy I was so chummy with the "enemy" and had once warned me that everything in our office was confidential. Well duh! Not only did I know that, I spent my ENTIRE military career scared to death of going to jail, I wasn't about to cross the line in any way shape or form!!!! As long as I knew my place both as a JAG specialist and friend to Tweedle Dee, I didn't see a problem with the friendship. The prosecutor, a fisty female soldier, didn't see it my way.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum were names given to our two friends by our Warrant Officer. I mean, we never called them that to their face but that's how they were referred to around the office.

There was only one time I even told TD any information at all about his case --- coming up to his trial I had spent and entire 2 days setting up the jury, because juries were my responsibility. They were a pain too because very few people wanted jury duty!!!!! There were actually a few that liked it but for the most part, they all did their best to get out of serving, much like in the cinvilain sector too. The only thing I had ever said to TD was one day after work we went to dinner together and he asked how my day was and I said, "It was horrible! I was setting up a jury for an upcoming trial and I had one excuse after another . . ." Then I stopped because I realized the jury was for his trial!!! He smiled. We quickly changed the subject.

Though going to court was a rare thing for me, I did arrange to be at TD's trial. Before hand, he had to get a few personal things in order. He really knew no one at HQ's so he gave me power of attorney in the event he was convicted and got confinement, he needed someone to pack up his personal belongings and have them sent home. Remember SGT R? Well, she kind of took to TD also because of her own circumstance with her husband going to jail. She also arranged to go to TD's trial and in fact, I was going to ride with her.

The day before trial right towards the end of the day I got the news the defendant had changed his mind and instead of jury trial we were going Judge Only. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Do you realize what a pain that was? I mean, getting people on the jury was difficult enough but then getting them off of the jury was an even bigger pain. We had phones --so I would call but keep in mind we didn't have call-waiting or voice mail so time after time, I'd get busy signals or so-in-so wasn't in so I'd have to call back. It was a huge pain!!!

That day after work I walked out of the office and TD was standing there and he walked up to me and said, "I'm sorry but I couldn't tell you." He was referring to the fact that he knew all that work I had done setting up the jury was for not --oh well, such is my job, I guess.

The night before trial TD and I had dinner together. We went through is personal things and he told me what he wanted packed, where to send it, etc. We spent the whole night together and yes, I do mean I spent the night in his room and NO, I don't mean anything was going on because it wasn't but somehow as the night went on, I just fell asleep in the empty bunk (Tweedle Dum's former bunk) and there I stayed the night. Well, we weren't allowed to have opposite sex overnight guests in the barracks so the next morning I had to sneak out -- I exited down the fire escape and did my "walk of shame" back to my barracks. I was still very much interested in Sergeant Newsome and still seeing him so with TD it was all strictly platonic friendship but even so, I didn't like walking into my barracks in the same clothes I had on the day before. No matter how innocent it was, I still got all those looks and stares like, "I know what YOU did last night."

The day of trial I was all set to go with SGT R. She told me if TD didn't get convicted or confinement, we were going to have a huge party at her house that night. The prosecutor got wind of my "overnight adventure" with TD, like any small town gossip would fly. She was TICKED OFF! Throughout this whole time, which I think spanned a few months, I was warned time and time again against my friendship with TD by the prosecutor and it really didn't set well with me. First of all, I was offended she trusted me so little. I did my job. I knew my job. I did my job quite well. Secondly, I thought it to be none of her business who my friends were. No one else in JAG had a problem with it, including my NCOIC and the Colonel so why she was so bent out of shape about it, I don't know. She insisted I not be allowed in court because it was a conflict of interest. Conflict? Is she crazy? That morning I was told by my NCOIC I'd not be allowed to go to court.

Oh yeah? We'll just see about that!