I Was Just Inches From The Opening!

On occasion (pre email and fax days) we'd have to get a legal document processed/signed right away to get it to trial or meet a court imposed deadline. On those occasions, our Colonel would either have the JAG driver take him to pick up the document or when really pressed for time, we'd arrange to go to the battalion/brigade via helicopter. This was one such occasion.

Being that I was already such an expert at flying (in) helicopters, when it was decided we'd have to fly to Erlangen the Major asked me to go along with them. This was much different not having a General in tow so I was glad to accompany them. Besides, we did have phones and I talked to many of the enlisted folks on the phone regularly so it was nice when we could actually see each other face-to-face.

This time I decided I'd take my camera along with me for some aerial shots. The view from the helicopter was quite amazing. As with my previous rides, I did not buckle myself into the seat --one of the guys working at the field always did that for me. You know, like being strapped into a baby car seat. Whenever they'd strap me in they'd pull it tight and I barely had room to move. I didn't mind though because being tossed about in a helicopter was not my idea of fun.

Our ride to Erlangen was uneventful, if not boring. For me, a helicopter of any kind was fun so it's not like I was disappointed. I was just becoming you know --an expert in the field and all. After our visit we headed back to Ansbach. When we got to the helipad to meet up with our pilots we noticed something different! As a special treat for us, our pilot took the doors off --we'd be flying with no doors on! Like every other time, one of the guys buckled me in --extra tight this time. They even let me sit on the end so I'd be right next to the door --uh, no door!

Without the doors, the ride was much louder and windier but what a thrill it was! I could literally hang my foot (to the extent I could reach it) out the door. No, I wasn't supposed to but for the sake of saying I did, I did. I could look over my right shoulder and see straight down. One thing I was quite thankful for was that full harness over me --holding me in ever so tightly!

To make our ride a bit more exciting, our pilot decided to show off a bit. He'd make sharp left or right turns so we we'd be dangling over --NOTHING AT ALL --just the ground waaay below! Then he'd kind of climb up, which felt much like the upward climb of a roller coaster --then let us dive down fast and furious. The Major kept pointing to his stomach (was too loud to talk) so I figured it wasn't going well for him. For me? I was having the time of my life until . . . .

Something went wrong. The helicopter started to slow down to a point you knew it wasn't supposed to be doing that. We all shot each other worried (panicked) glances. We couldn't communicate with the pilot so all we could do was sit and wait . . . . .

We were moving quite slowly but still controlled --not like we were crashing towards the ground. The pilot landed us in a German field. We didn't know what to think. The pilot got out and came and told us there was a problem so he had to make an emergency landing. He told us to all get out and he was going to radio in to see what he should do. So we all disembarked the bird and stood in the field . .waiting. The Major about "lost his cookies" from the flight. He was glad we landed. It wasn't long before owner of said field, the German farmer, came running to us. He didn't speak a word of English but we could gather he was less concerned about his field and most concerned about us. I was mostly concerned (you know, after I realized we weren't going to crash) with the HUGE mess we made of his field ---oh and --how we were going to get back. Would then send us another helicopter?

The pilot and co-pilot were busy on the radio. Before you knew it, we had a whole group of Germans that gathered around us. I'm quite sure it wasn't every day a helicopter landed in their field. None of them spoke much English but a few kept asking us if we were okay. We were fine.

It wasn't long before our pilot told us we could take off again. Apparently, with all those dips and dives and sharp turns, the pilot was getting some false readings on his monitors so the landing was more about procedure than a real emergency. He got clearance to take off again and head back.

Problem. I had never buckled myself into the seat before. We loaded up into the helicopter and try as I did, I could not get myself strapped in. The bird was loudly whirling by now so despite my screams (of terror) for help, everyone just smiled and went on their merry way. I tried my best --first he put this here, then snapped this, that goes this way or wait, does it go the other way? If I pull this --maybe this thing here will . . . . . . the helicopter started to slowly rise. I wasn't strapped in. We had no doors on. I was just inches from the opening.

The rest of the ride was nothing short of terrifying. I was semi strapped in but everything felt loose. The good thing was because of his silly antics that landed us in a field (literally), the pilot was done with his fun and games. It was just straight flying this time only --I was sitting at the opening WITH NO HARNESS OR SEAT BELT ON.

Gracious! It was horrifying. I tried my best to just --well, hold on. I held onto anything that was nailed down --wasn't much to hold onto but I tried. My worst fear was if I started to fall out, everyone else was so darn strapped in they'd not be able to reach over and grab me. I feared everything and every worse case scenarios played out in my mind. Making it ever so difficult to hold on was how badly I was trembling and my sweaty hands. The Major kept looking over at me and pointing downwards as if to say/ask why I wasn't looking out below us. On the ride there, I had been practically hanging out the door and kept my head looking downward --this time I was sitting up straight and looking straight ahead too. I think he thought I was shaken by the "emergency" landing but really I was TERRIFIED I was going to FALL OUT!

We finally made our way back to Katterbach for which I was certain had we not, I was only moments away of going into cardiac arrest from shear fear. I never did tell anyone I wasn't properly buckled in. It was the Army. You don't act like a stupid girl in the Army and only a stupid girl wouldn't know how to buckle a seat belt and you certainly don't act like nothing more than a mere shoeshine boy --

And there you have it --my last helicopter ride. After that, though I could have, I never did take up any offers for rides. I had my fill of it.

The Army certainly afforded me many opportunities and experiences I never ever dreamed I'd have; throwing a live hand grenade, firing a M-60 machine gun (yeah, it was fun) - -- and riding in a helicopter sans any doors and without seat belt or harness.