My Visitor

I walked into the classroom and there standing across the room was Staff Sergeant Newsome.  I was confused and worried.  I had split second thoughts of me being in trouble or there being some sort of emergency . . but why him?  Why is he here?  I could tell he was nervous.  He stood fidgeting with his hat, kind of twirling it around his fingers.  I wasn't happy to see him because I was too afraid of what news he had come to bear.  Was he leaving Germany and came to say good-bye?  Is he dying of some horrible disease?  Is my family okay?  Have I been kicked out of school? 

WHAT????? PLEASE TELL ME!!!

We were standing a good distance apart --him on the farther end of the classroom, me just inside the door, which was closed.  There were all of these empty desks between us.  The room sort of dark, the lights were not turned on so only the daylight that was shining through the windows lit the room, but it was pretty minimal light.  What seemed like an eternity that we both just stood there looking at each other was probably only a few seconds.  My heart was racing.  I didn't know how to prepare myself for whatever news he came to share.  It was obvious from his demeanor this wasn't just a friendly visit like, hey, how's it going?  I knew there was intent, specific intent.  I was too afraid to even ask because I was afraid what the answer might be but then I just couldn't stand it any longer . . .

"So what are you doing here?" I asked.

He paused which scared me all the more because I thought he was trying to steel himself up to deliver the bad news.  He needed courage for this moment, I could tell and that terrified me all the more.

Please God, don't let it be my family!  Please!

Finally he mustered up enough courage to speak.  His voice was quiet and low, maybe even a little bit crackly.  The expression on his face was serious.  I could tell there was a lot of thought behind his eyes.

He said . . .

"Please just listen to what I have to say.  I have to get this out.  I've been doing a lot of thinking ever since you been gone here at school and well, its been driving me crazy.  I've been here just about every day begging Sergeant Major to let me see you.  I just had to see you.  He's a friend of mine, Sergeant Major and I go way back so anyway, I finally broke him down.  I can't stay long because I don't want to get him in trouble or you but you know---I just had to see you because I have to tell you that -- I want you to be my wife.  I want you to marry me.  I know, I know --this isn't the time or place and this isn't right like this, I promise that I'll do it right but --I couldn't wait to tell you and see you and I'm not asking you now, not like this it just that--I wanted to let you know how I feel and that I see my whole future with you and I hope you see your future with me too.  Its just been driving me crazy with you gone and all the things that have happened to you here and I haven't been able to protect you.  And I know you're here with all these male soldiers and I don't want you to find someone else.  I want them to know that you belong to someone, to me.  I know you're free to be with whoever you want to be with and if you met someone else, just tell me.  I just keep thinking you're going to meet someone else because I haven't told you how I feel --that you just don't know.  So please don't say anything now.  Don't say yes or don't say no.  Just tell me--will you wait for me?  You know, until the time is right --I mean--I just wanted to tell you that.  That's all.......  Well, you better get back to class now.  I don't want to get you in trouble."

I just stood there kind of shocked.  I wasn't exactly sure what just happened.  I kind of thought that maybe I should go over and hug him or something but you know, we were both in uniform, I was a student in PLDC, he was an illegal visitor to the school --what if someone walked in?  It wouldn't look exactly right.  Inside I was happy, I was pretty excited but kind of confused to.  I told Newsome I better get back to class then went to leave.  Just as I got to the door he said ---

"So if I was to ask you to marry me -- when the time is right, when the place is right --when it's the right time and place--if I asked you, what do you think you might say?"

My voice spoke before my mind even understood the question.  Or maybe --maybe my heart spoke before my mind understood the question.  I said --

"I think I might say yes.  I have to get back to class now."

And I left.