Big Girls Don't Cry

After NCOIC left and closed the door behind him, it was just Female Sergeant and myself in the office.  I wasn't getting any warm and fuzzy vibes from her so I was trying to brace myself.  Then again, anything she had to do or say certainly couldn't top SGM so . . . .

Female Sergeant went on to scold me about . . . crying.  She said a female NCO should NEVER cry in front of male soldiers or really, in front of any soldiers.  She said it shows weakness and vulnerability and if women every wanted to be treated fair and equal in the Army women are going to have to start acting like they deserve fair and equal treatment.  She went on to tell me I was a disgrace to my rank, to female soldiers and to the Army  . . .because I cried.  She went on and on scolding me.  I just stood there listening.  When she was done I left.  She was mighty proud of herself, I could tell, that she was, which she seemed to think, single hand-idly forging the the way for female soldiers in the Army.

As I walked out of the office I remember feeling very sorry for her --very sorry that she felt like in order to be treated fairly she needed to act like a man and hide her feelings.  No, I did not tell her that in fact, I didn't say anything to her.

I was so worn out--physically I was still weak but emotionally?  Are you kidding me?  I mean, just hours ago I was told I was going to have a baby --and then the whole business with SGM and this female soldier and that idiot NCOIC that asked if I was suicidal . . . . .

And thus began my tour of duty at the First Infantry Division, Ft. Riley, Kansas.

I had a feeling Kansas and I weren't exactly going to be good friends.