THE Sergeant Major

Let me describe the type –you can spot them a mile away –

What type is that? The newly promoted type. More specifically, the newly promoted type that wears their rank in their head and not on their collar.
I have seen this behavior even with the lowest ranking privates, of which there are three: Private E1, Private E2 and Private First Class. I have seen a PFC get a little beside himself trying to throw his collar weight around but you know, the ego was certainly bigger than the promotion.

Most anyone can ignore a PFC, even those E1 and E2 types, they just roll their eyes. It gets a little trickier when the newly promoted person actually has some rank to contend with. Now you are on a completely new playing field but the attitude and the arrogance are still the same.

The reason you can spot them a mile away is because they walk differently; their shoulders are thrown back and chest puffed out. No matter their height (but its certainly more effective the taller you are) they look down at people, literally. When they enter a room they like to pause, you know, waiting for everyone to turn and look at them and acknowledge their presence. These types misunderstand the purpose of a rank structure and though it is true that RHIP (Rank Has Its Privileges) they misconstrue its meaning and use their rank for person gain and personal glory and certainly at the cost of the lowliest ranks of the Army. Quite often, they consider themselves above the rules and regulations.

These types often talk loud, too loud for the environment because they like to be heard, they want to be heard and they think everything they have to say is important and that people are just hanging onto their every word. When they do not get their way they will angrily ask, “Do you know who I am?”

They are often clad in a brand new uniform because new rank needs a fresh new collar to lie upon. Its like putting old grungy furniture in a brand new house, it just does not go together. When you have a new rank to proudly display, you need a new uniform too. This stereotypical type can frequently be spotted by the newness of their duds; boots highly shined, uniform starched and pressed, brand new nametags, brand new badges, fresh military hair cut –brand spanking new everything. Even a soldier that formally was not always so spit shined will take on a completely new approach to wearing the uniform.

Most of these soldiers are like this because they probably waited a very long time for their rank. It can be argued, there was a reason they had to wait a very long time for their rank –they did not deserve it. A soldier can get stuck at one rank for years and years and though there are exceptions to my theory, for the most part they probably just need to be stuck at that rank for a long while. When they finally advance to the next rank, it is like they feel the need to make up for lost time or something.

Fortunately, for most, once the novelty of the new rank has worn off and their mouths start salivating for the next higher rank, they calm down. There are a few that just never learn how to behave and they leave a path of destruction wherever they go. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not talking about the tough type of soldier that just knows his/her job and expects everyone to know their job too. I’m not describing the Sergeant or Officer that runs a tight ship. I’m talking about the Sergeant or Officer that thinks they run a tight ship but in reality, they are so busy stroking their own rank they can’t get much else done.

And so here I am at Ft. Riley all slouched down on the couch and feeling like the slightest movement I will throw up or pass out and in walks this Sergeant Major.

And he was everything I described above . . . and more . . .