The Korean Woman

Legal Assistance was constantly busy. We would close for lunch every day at noon and when we got back at 1pm, we would have a line waiting at the door. We took both scheduled appointments and walk-ins. The flow of people never stopped. The phone calls never stopped. It was crazy.

I was the NCOIC of Legal Assistance, which is not saying much since I was the only enlisted soldier that worked there. We had a civilian secretary and 3 or 4 attorneys. The work was very mundane and repetitive. I liked working with the soldiers more so than the civilians –it made me feel like I was still part of the Army because other than being in uniform, working in Legal Assistance at Ft. Riley felt a lot like a civilian job. I was very disconnected from the troops and I did not like that.

Well, I was disconnected from military things in part because of my work at JAG but other reasons too, which I will tell you about later. Today I promised to tell you about one of our military spouses that came in.

I was a notary and so much of what I did all day long (ALL! DAY! LONG!) was notarize documents. That was boring. I did not much like the Legal Separations because rarely did someone come in and just say, “I’d like a legal separation from my spouse.” End of story –no, they had to tell you why and what happened and what a lousy worthless person their spouse was. I did not mind them needing to chat and vent but after a while, all the stories sounded the same and they always wanted you to be on their side, agree with them. It was almost as if they wanted you to validate their decision. I was not allowed to dispense legal advice nor was I able to express my personal opinions so sometimes it just was hard to deal with.

I will never forget the Korean woman that came in. She was very shy and timid, spoke very quietly and acted a bit paranoid. I noticed her odd behavior right away. It was so odd I wondered if perhaps she might have been on drugs. She seemed afraid to make eye contact and yet, her eyes would dart around the room suspiciously looking at people. She was very jumpy and as soon as someone would walk into our waiting room a panic look would come over her face.

Though our waiting room was divided from our work areas, there certainly was not any privacy. When someone came in either for a scheduled appointment or as a walk-in, they would sign in on a clipboard. The civilian secretary and I would call people up to our desk and determine what they needed. If there were there to see an attorney, we started a file on them (or if they had previously been in, we pulled their file). If it was a walk-in, we had to squeeze them in to see one of the attorneys between scheduled appointments.

When I called the Korean woman up immediately I could tell she was hoping for some privacy. She sat down in the chair next to my desk, and she kept looking behind her and over her shoulder as if she expected someone to come up from behind her. I sat down at my desk and asked how I could help her. She looked to her left, to her right and then behind her. She was nervously wringing her hands as she very slowly and deliberately leaned forward to whisper to me. I too leaned in a bit to get closer, she said to me in her very thick Korean accent, and broken English, “Husband leave me."  Then she handed me some papers which were all too familiar to me.  Her husband had been in and had a legal separation drawn up.  I knew right then her husband had been in our office for counsel so I should have sent her away but I already did that to one woman that was in need of help and I didn't want to do that again.   Besides, it wasn't like we were a legal practice --these were Army attorneys.  In Germany we also did legal separations for both spouses as long as each attorney didn't discuss the case, outside of the normal legal realm, it was fine.  I think my OIC's policy of not seeing both spouses in our office was unreasonable.  I really think it was more about cutting down the volume of work our office did.

She was difficult to understand both in terms of her accent and the fact that she kept whispering and looking around.  I finally was able to understand what was going on.  Her husband had legal separation papers drawn up with the intention of following through with a divorce.  The couple had children; at least one but I don't remember how many.  I read the papers and the husband was trying to get over and take advantage of the fact that his wife didn't understand English very well and didn't know her way around the Army and the US enough to have resources to help her.  The only reason she even came to JAG was because he told her to sign the paper work and it needed to be notarized.

The paperwork stated the wife was not seeking spousal support and did not want custody of the children.  It also stated the wife did not want any marital property, etc.  Basically, the husband wanted her to walk out of the marriage with the clothes on her back and without her children.  It was clear to me this is not what she wanted.  I explained what the papers said and tears were just flowing down her face.  She loved her husband and wanted to stay with him.  I gave her a quick summary of the legal separation and asked, "Is that what you want?"  She shook her head no.  I told her not to sign the papers.  But you know, I knew I was treading on thin ice here --I mean the last time I advised someone not to sign papers that didn't work out well for him --poor soldier.  I'm not legally allowed to give advice and our office was not supposed to be talking to this woman.  I understood I was breaking all of the rules but I just couldn't send this woman away.

After I told her not to sign papers she looked like she wanted to tell me something but hesitated.   After a pause she told me her husband threatened her.  He told her if she didn't come home with the papers signed and notarized he was going to beat her.  She went on to describe to me the things he threatened to do to her if she did not sign the papers.

So now I'm defiantly not sending this woman away until I know she has help.  I'm sorry (stupid) solider but you can't threaten your wife into signing a legal separation she doesn't want AND you can't take her children away from her.  It really doesn't work that way.