No More Bananas!

My sister Val booked her flight to Florida to visit my Mom and she was taking her children; Courtney and Brittany.  I think they planned to stay a week with Mom but they planned to surprise her.  My younger sister, Sam, was wrapping up her year away at school and she already had plans to spend time in Florida with Mom.  Val called me and asked if there was any way I could get away too, "Mom hasn't been feeling well.  She's going through a lot and has been so worried about you.  It would be really nice if we could all go spend some time with her --she would love that."

Since I had been in the Army and away from home so much and my Mom living in Florida, it had been years since Mom had all of her children together at the same time.  I agreed with my sister that it would be good for Mom so I told Val I'd see what I could do.

It was coming up to Memorial Day weekend so I put in for a 4-day pass.  I went to the on-post travel section and I booked a flight to Florida, keeping every bit of this a secret from Mom.

I was still sick most days though every now and then I'd have a good day --be able to eat and keep food down and get through the day feeling pretty good.  Then I'd still have really bad days when I couldn't so much as sip water without getting sick.

One morning about 4am I was sleeping soundly in my barracks bed when I heard all this commotion.  There was banging on my door, yelling and dogs barking.  I had no idea what was going on, still groggy from my sleep.  There was yelling for everyone to get up and stand outside their room.  I remember laying in bed afraid to get up because normally, I'd have to ease myself up each morning to prevent an onslaught of morning sickness and dizziness and general crapiness . . . but they kept banging on my door and yelling.

So I got up, threw on my robe and opened my door --all I remember is seeing people everywhere.  The MP's were there with the drug dogs and they came into my room and the MP (Military Police) dog was sniffing around and after making it clear he found nothing, they moved on to the next room --and all through the barracks.  It was a surprise drug inspection, which the Army did periodically.  But listen, I was pregnant and in no mind to live like this any longer.  Having already deciding I wasn't spending my pregancy in the barracks, this made that more of a sense of urgency.  I had to get out of their quickly.  I knew the rest of the day was going to be crummy because like I said, easing myself out of bed each morning with a few bites of saltine crackers is what seemed to keep the sickness at bay. 

After the inspection was over, I went back to bed fully aware of the fact that I was probably going to be sick for the rest of the day and in fact, I already felt it coming on.  I decided to forgo the Mess Hall that morning as food would proably only make me feel worse.  At the end of that day I was starving!  I had been up since 4am and had nothing to eat but a few bites of a saltine here and there.  I was dizzy but I felt like if I could eat I'd feel better.  So after work I headed for the Mess Hall.  As soon as I walked in I realized what a huge mistake that had been.  The smell was making me sick --just the smell of food and general cafeteria nastiness.  I went through the line looking for something rather bland I could eat but nothing appealed to me.  In the end, I decided on banana from the salad bar.  I sat at a table only because I felt like I was going to pass out and  I needed to rest for a minute.  I slowly ate my banana with each bite praying it would stay down.  When it seemed I could walk and drive wihtout the fear of passing out, I got up to leave.

I walked outside and walked over to a bush and threw up the banana.  It would be over five years before I'd eat another banana again. 

I just remember this feeling of humiliation --standing there publically throwing up, the barracks inspection that morning, conditions of living in the barracks, etc.  It made me feel exposed, or something, when all I really wanted was to quietly and privately go through my pregnacy --as a Mother, not as a Soldier.