Sharing My Joy

I don't remember how long I was down on my knees but I do remember I cried for a very long time.  I prayed for a very long time, a prayer of very few words, a prayer straight from the heart.

And then I laid on my Army barracks bed and my tears were as much about joy as pain.

Repentance.

Forgiveness.

Brokenness.

Restoration.


I felt Psalm 139 so profoundly mine, so specifically written to me, it was unreal.  In fact, even now sometimes when I hear others quote a verse from Psalm 139 or a sermon on the same, I wonder how they know "my" verse.

And that got me so excited I couldn't keep all of this joy to myself.

Because the Word of God, it ignites.  Its alive, living, moving . . .

So I got up and drove myself back to the Call-Center.  This time I placed a call to Brighton, Michigan.

My sister Val answered the phone.  I was crying as I tried to explain to her  . . . the unexplainable --when God just quietly steps into your life, your situation.  I mean just like that.  And I said to her, "I read my Bible and in Psalm 139 I read . . "

My sister stopped me and asked, "How did you find that verse, who told you about that?"

And now she was crying.  We talked and shared.  It was amazing.

For the first time in a long time a huge burden was lifted from me.  I finally had a clarity of mind I had not had before.

Our conversation turned to our Mom.  As I mentioned earlier, Mom was having some headaches and memory loss and she had been going to her doctor trying to get to the bottom of it.   Val said to me, "Mesa, I'm worried about Mom.  I know something isn't right but I just don't know what it is.  Her doctor isn't doing anything for her but maybe she's not asking the right questions or something, I don't know.  Maybe she's not explaining things or maybe she needs a new doctor.  Anyway, I'm going down to Florida to visit her and I'm going to take her to the doctor so I can talk to him too and find out what's going on.  I think it would be a good idea for someone to be with her when she talks to her doctor. 

It was May 1988.