Today we're going back to my training days - AIT at Ft. Benjamin Harrison, Indiana. One of my roommates became a good friend --we spent a lot of time together. She had been married to a soldier and they were stationed in Germany. She loved the Army and in fact, loved it so much one day decided to enlist herself, leaving her husband and step-son behind. It was a sad story but I was always so intrigued what brought people to the Army.
She and I did a lot together, as we were roommates and both in the same class (Advanced Individual Training --basically, where you learn to do your Army job). She was shorter than me, if you can believe that! I think it was our height, or lack there of, that first drew us to one another. We both had many basic training stories to share where our height became a challenge for a certain task. Like many people I would come to know in the Army, she and I had many differences. For one thing, she had been married and divorced. She knew much more about the Army than I did. I liked her because she was smart and hard working. As far as roommates go, she was one you could rely on to prepare for an inspection. When you shared a room, it didn't matter to the inspector who did the work, kept the room clean, etc. Sometimes you'd have a roommate that didn't do their share of the work but was glad to revel in the glory of a passed inspection. My friend was not like that. She carried her own weight.
One night we were having dinner together in the mess hall, as we often did, and she shared something with me that made me realize yet another difference we shared. She told me was attracted to and would only date black men. Then as her nature was to be very blunt, she asked me directly, "So what about you? Have you ever dated a black man?" I have to admit I really didn't understand the question. Is it one or the other? Is this a trick question? Did I say something offensive to someone? No one ever asked me that before nor did I know how to respond. I thought about it and I knew the answer was no but I was almost ashamed to tell her that. Its not like I purposed to not date a black man but as I sat there I realized, I really had never known a black man.
So I'm pondering her question and then this black male soldier walks up to our table. I knew him, he was in our company --I spoke to him a few times but we certainly were not friends. He walked up to our table as if on cue, considering the conversation we were engaged in, and he said to me, "Ala has revealed to me you will be my wife." He lays a ring box on the table and walks away telling me he will talk to me later.
It all feels like a set-up. I look at my friend and she shrugs. I'm not convinced she's not in on some practical joke with me until she grabs the ring box, opens it and gasps, "Its a diamond ring!", she exclaims.
What the heck is going on? I grab the ring box from her and said, "Come on --we gotta go give this back." She tried to convince me I should get to know the guy and see if I like him. I think she's crazy. I think that guy is crazy! In the midst of her trying to explain to me why she thinks dating this guy is a fabulous idea, I said to her, "First of all, he's nuts. That's that. Secondly, we clearly don't share the same religious beliefs but even IF I could look beyond all of that, he's a black man and I could never marry a black man --my family just would never understand."
She said to me, "That's really too bad because I think you and a black man would have some gorgeous children together."
Well, I thought to myself, that certainly is never going to happen.
She and I did a lot together, as we were roommates and both in the same class (Advanced Individual Training --basically, where you learn to do your Army job). She was shorter than me, if you can believe that! I think it was our height, or lack there of, that first drew us to one another. We both had many basic training stories to share where our height became a challenge for a certain task. Like many people I would come to know in the Army, she and I had many differences. For one thing, she had been married and divorced. She knew much more about the Army than I did. I liked her because she was smart and hard working. As far as roommates go, she was one you could rely on to prepare for an inspection. When you shared a room, it didn't matter to the inspector who did the work, kept the room clean, etc. Sometimes you'd have a roommate that didn't do their share of the work but was glad to revel in the glory of a passed inspection. My friend was not like that. She carried her own weight.
One night we were having dinner together in the mess hall, as we often did, and she shared something with me that made me realize yet another difference we shared. She told me was attracted to and would only date black men. Then as her nature was to be very blunt, she asked me directly, "So what about you? Have you ever dated a black man?" I have to admit I really didn't understand the question. Is it one or the other? Is this a trick question? Did I say something offensive to someone? No one ever asked me that before nor did I know how to respond. I thought about it and I knew the answer was no but I was almost ashamed to tell her that. Its not like I purposed to not date a black man but as I sat there I realized, I really had never known a black man.
So I'm pondering her question and then this black male soldier walks up to our table. I knew him, he was in our company --I spoke to him a few times but we certainly were not friends. He walked up to our table as if on cue, considering the conversation we were engaged in, and he said to me, "Ala has revealed to me you will be my wife." He lays a ring box on the table and walks away telling me he will talk to me later.
It all feels like a set-up. I look at my friend and she shrugs. I'm not convinced she's not in on some practical joke with me until she grabs the ring box, opens it and gasps, "Its a diamond ring!", she exclaims.
What the heck is going on? I grab the ring box from her and said, "Come on --we gotta go give this back." She tried to convince me I should get to know the guy and see if I like him. I think she's crazy. I think that guy is crazy! In the midst of her trying to explain to me why she thinks dating this guy is a fabulous idea, I said to her, "First of all, he's nuts. That's that. Secondly, we clearly don't share the same religious beliefs but even IF I could look beyond all of that, he's a black man and I could never marry a black man --my family just would never understand."
She said to me, "That's really too bad because I think you and a black man would have some gorgeous children together."
Well, I thought to myself, that certainly is never going to happen.
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