Rob

Rob (not his name but what I will call him) was an Army cook. He had been in the Navy for a while but didn't like it because he didn't like going out to seas so he decided to give the Army a try. 1ST AD was his first Army duty station. Rob and I would talk on occasion. The cooks had a crazy work schedule because they had to be at the mess hall so early in the morning and since it was open 7 days a week, they also had different "weekend" days. So sometimes I'd only see Rob in the mess hall as his coming and going schedule was much different from mine. One night while I was on CQ duty (as a runner), he stayed up with me all night. I was glad for the company because this particular night the Sergeant on duty was one of those power hungry hard-core type.



As a CQ runner you'd basically be at the mercy of the CQ. Most were pretty cool in fact many would tell you to go to bed and they'd come get you if they needed you. It was an all night duty so getting a few hours of sleep was most welcomed. Others wouldn't let you sleep but still not work you to death. And then there were those guys that just got promoted and wanted to flex a little E5 muscle --they'd make you work all night. That was the case this night. The Sergeant on duty had me sweeping and mopping and all sorts of dumb things. Rob was getting off work late, I guess he had worked the dinner shift, and on his way back to his room he saw me --in my Cinderella mode sweeping the barracks floors. He stopped to talk to me and before you knew it, we had talked and worked through the entire night.



After that night Rob was constantly coming to my barracks room to see me. In fact, he came so often whenever there was a knock on the door my roommates would yell to me, "Your boy Rob is here!" even before we knew who was at the door. I tried to be nice to him but after a while, it was just too much so I asked him to not stop by so often. I think it hurt his feelings because after that, he wouldn't even talk to me anymore and whenever I saw him he flat out ignored me. It made me feel bad because I enjoyed his company --I just didn't want it 24/7 but if he wanted to be immature and pout-- so be it. That was his choice.


Several weeks had gone by and one day Rob just shows up at my door. He started coming around again to visit me only --not so often, for which I was glad. We starting hanging out together and I knew he wanted to date but I wasn't interested. He was a good friend and I enjoyed his company but I just was not interested in getting involved with anyone that was not from Chicago. I mean maybe Indiana or Wisconsin or southern Illinois but Rob was from California. Strike one. He was a bit immature. Strike two. He wanted to make the military his career. Strike three --you're out!!! I didn't tell Rob any of this but I did make it clear we weren't dating --and he knew that. One day in the midst of a general conversation he said something to me that changed everything.

Talking about his Navy days he said to me, "I was stationed at Great Lakes for a while and used to spend weekends in Chicago. I really liked Chicago. I can totally see myself living there someday."

It was like instantly these fortresses I had built around me started to crumble. My heart was softened and I began to unlock my inner self that I kept so tightly guarded. This was a significant change for me that ironically, really had nothing at all to do with Rob. I had emotionally isolated myself from everyone for so long. I wasn't interested in long-term friendships or dating because I had one thing and one thing only on my mind -- CHICAGO! I wanted to go back there so badly it hurt and I wasn't about to allow anyone or anything to stand in my way of that. I was so afraid of getting involved in a relationship, of giving my heart away and then one of us getting shipped off by Uncle Sam. I wasn't willing to put my heart out there like that, to take that risk. But now here's Rob saying these things to me and for the first time my quest for Chicago seemed silly. It was like a light went on in my head and that light made me see Rob in a whole new way and now I was interested in dating him -which was over coming two obstacles I had set for myself. One, Rob was from California and not Chicago. Two, Rob was a black man.