Sad but true that everyone else's interest in SSG Newsome propelled my interest in him. As far as soldiering goes --he was the best. He had an impressive record; Drill Sergeant (I don't know why but all the girls swoon for the DS), Airborne qualified, Expert Infantry Badge . . . he had a military presence about him that was commanding. His voice was thunderous and loud. Everything about him was soldierly. Everything about him was strong. When you were in his presence you just wanted to jump out of airplanes and run 5 miles and fight for your country. He was a soldier inside and out --not just a guy on active duty or a guy in the Army. He was a soldier and the finest of any soldier I had every known. Sharing any space with him in the Army made you proud to do so. I didn't know then but years later I would come to understand just what the Army was to him and did for him.
But now we have a few little problems. First off, there's sweet Rob. I wasn't dating Rob but we certainly were spending more time together. I knew Rob and I had no future because I saw him as a guy that was going to jelly-fish his way through all branches of the service, giving no real dedication to any of them or any sort of a future. That might not have been his plan or path but that is what it seemed like to me. I was also still hesitant of any relationship that was not going to end in a cozy cottage situated someplace on the outskirts of Chicago. Yes, I was learning to let go and live my life but the process had just begun --I still had some growing up to do.
SSG Newsome far outranked me and though dating him was allowed, it being proper was another thing. Since he wasn't in my chain of command it really wasn't a problem but sometimes those rank things get dicey. I was mostly concerned for his sake and not mine.
I was afraid of SSG Newsome. I know sounds silly but I really was. Remember I had a healthy fear/respect for those that out ranked me. My Drill Sergeants, along with making me a class-A buffer, instilled that in me --the rank structure. Yeah, SSG Newsome was just an ordinary guy but he was also an E6, outranking me by 3 pay grades. In fact, this was such an obstacle for me I'll tell you a little futuristic story. I mean --it's no spoiler to the story that I did indeed marry the man, hence my last name and title of my blog. Even after SSG and I started dating --it would be months before I could even call him by his first name. For the longest I'd always refer to him as Sergeant Newsome. He'd always say to me, "Why don't you just call me Jerry?" WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? It was like some big Army asteroid would fall down on me and destroy me having such blatant disregard and disrespect for an E6 -Staff Sergeant!
We eventually went out on our first date -New Year's Eve. He took me to some club that had big promises of an all night buffet, live music, free party hats, etc. It was a bomb. I think he and I were 2 of 6 people in the whole place. It was boring. The music was so loud he and I couldn't talk much. When we did he talked alot about himself --I mean alot! We sat at a table. No real conversation. Sitting. Just sitting . . . just the most boring date of my lifetime! I don't even think we stayed until midnight. Yeah, it was just that bad.
So there really didn't seem any future for the Staff Sergeant and myself. After our first date, I had no interest in seeing him again. Lie. I did. Despite the boring date I was still drawn to him --afraid and uncertain and yet ---drawn.
But now we have a few little problems. First off, there's sweet Rob. I wasn't dating Rob but we certainly were spending more time together. I knew Rob and I had no future because I saw him as a guy that was going to jelly-fish his way through all branches of the service, giving no real dedication to any of them or any sort of a future. That might not have been his plan or path but that is what it seemed like to me. I was also still hesitant of any relationship that was not going to end in a cozy cottage situated someplace on the outskirts of Chicago. Yes, I was learning to let go and live my life but the process had just begun --I still had some growing up to do.
SSG Newsome far outranked me and though dating him was allowed, it being proper was another thing. Since he wasn't in my chain of command it really wasn't a problem but sometimes those rank things get dicey. I was mostly concerned for his sake and not mine.
I was afraid of SSG Newsome. I know sounds silly but I really was. Remember I had a healthy fear/respect for those that out ranked me. My Drill Sergeants, along with making me a class-A buffer, instilled that in me --the rank structure. Yeah, SSG Newsome was just an ordinary guy but he was also an E6, outranking me by 3 pay grades. In fact, this was such an obstacle for me I'll tell you a little futuristic story. I mean --it's no spoiler to the story that I did indeed marry the man, hence my last name and title of my blog. Even after SSG and I started dating --it would be months before I could even call him by his first name. For the longest I'd always refer to him as Sergeant Newsome. He'd always say to me, "Why don't you just call me Jerry?" WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? It was like some big Army asteroid would fall down on me and destroy me having such blatant disregard and disrespect for an E6 -Staff Sergeant!
We eventually went out on our first date -New Year's Eve. He took me to some club that had big promises of an all night buffet, live music, free party hats, etc. It was a bomb. I think he and I were 2 of 6 people in the whole place. It was boring. The music was so loud he and I couldn't talk much. When we did he talked alot about himself --I mean alot! We sat at a table. No real conversation. Sitting. Just sitting . . . just the most boring date of my lifetime! I don't even think we stayed until midnight. Yeah, it was just that bad.
So there really didn't seem any future for the Staff Sergeant and myself. After our first date, I had no interest in seeing him again. Lie. I did. Despite the boring date I was still drawn to him --afraid and uncertain and yet ---drawn.
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