Mockery

That day, my first day as Platoon Sergeant, I had to march my Platoon to the Mess Hall. It wasn’t far away but it wasn’t just across the street either –so we had little ways to march.   Now mind you, we (PLDC) aren’t the only ones on this military installation –there are active duty units and civilians walking/driving all over the place. The Mess Hall serviced all of the soldiers that lived/worked there. So as we marched down the street there were a lot of other people around.

Right Face!
Forward –March!

I tried, I tried so hard to give loud commands and I tried so hard to march these guys. . . . .

But the more we marched the more out of step I felt. It seemed like I had to run to keep up with them. I was supposed to be singing cadence but it was all I could do to keep up with, “1, 2, 3, 4 . . your left, left, left . .right”. Walking next to us was once of the course instructors (not my instructor) and his job was to observe and grade me.

I was on my left foot, the platoon was on their right foot . . . . I was running, they were walking. . . .I was trying to sound off but I could hardly talk. . . .They were anxious and ready to sound-off, I was out of breath . . . I wanted to sing cadence but none came to mind think-- think, Melissa, think! We were not a platoon or any resemblance of any type of military formation –what we were was one giant mess walking down the street. I just felt like if we could all get on the same step I could get more in control ---so I executed a Change Step (basically a skip).

Why oh why did I execute a Change Step?

The instructor comes running up to me SCREAMING all the while we are still marching, “Sergeant!!  What do you think you’re doing? YOU DON’T CHANGE STEP! YOU GET THESE SOLDIERS IN STEP WITH YOU! YOU GET THESE SOLDIERS MARCHING!”

Okay well as much as I would love to be able to do that, if you thought I was horrible at it before, imagine how the more difficult it is WITH YOU SCREAMING AT ME.

I was thinking about that and the fact that I wish I were invisible and I hated PLDC and the Army and I especially hated that instructor, at that particular moment.

It was one giant disaster! I was flustered and so inept at marching troops. The guys were just all over the place, not sure what we were doing . .the instructor was doing his whole Drill Sergeant bit by yelling at me . . . and then the other soldiers and civilians walking around were stopping to stare and gawk and watch the stupid Sergeant (me) get yelled at.

We finally reached the Mess Hall. I stopped the platoon and dismissed them with a “Fall Out!” Command but then Mr. Drill Sergeant Instructor told the platoon they weren’t dismissed yet and he lit into me –he tore me apart—up one side and down the next. So standing there in front of my platoon, with other soldiers walking about, this instructor let me have it!

SERGEANT! YOU NEVER EVER EVER DO A CHANGE STEP WHEN MARCHING TROOPS. THEY NEED TO BE IN STEP WITH YOU, NOT YOU WITH THEM! YOU GIVE A CHANGE STEP COMMAND BUT YOU DO NOT EXECUTE A CHANGE STEP! THAT WAS THE UGLIEST MOB OF SOLDIERS I HAVE EVER SEEN WALK DOWN THE STREET! YOU MADE A MOCKERY OF THEM, YOURSELF AND THE ARMY! I HAD BETTER NEVER SEE SUCH A DISASTER OF MARCHING AGAIN!!! EVER!!!!!! THAT WASN’T EVEN MARCHING! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT DISASTER WAS! I AM GOING TO TELL YOUR INSTRUCTORS ABOUT THIS AND YOU WILL DO EXTRA DUTY OF MARCHING UNTIL YOU CAN GET IT RIGHT. I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO MARCH THROUGH THE ENTIRE NIGHT! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, SERGEANT?

Yes, Sergeant.

He then dismissed us all for lunch and my guys rallied around me again. They said things like, “We were trying so hard to march for you but we just couldn't follow you. . . Oh come on man, it wasn’t that bad. You’ll get it. That guy was just being a jerk, he didn't need to yell and carry-on like that . . it was your first time marching, what did he expect? . . you'll get it, don't worry . .  “ But as they were saying things like that to me I saw them giving each other looks like, “I knew she wasn’t cut out for Platoon Sergeant! This is going to be disastrous!”

The instructor was right. I made a mockery out of my entire platoon, myself and the Army.