Now You're Dead

The field exercise was taking its toll on me.  As I struggled to keep up with the male soldiers, it was draining me both physically and mentally.  I had so many things running through my mind, desperately trying to keep up with the maps, the troops, our instructions, our mission --most of which was barely understandable to me to begin with.  Physically, I was exhausted and just plain worn down.    I had all these things to try and keep track of so that's what my mind was focused on.  Our Instructors were giving us well, instructions and each of my squad leaders were telling me things they needed, wanted, didn't need, couldn't do, wanted to to . . . . my head was spinning.  I had a small spiral bound notebook I was trying to keep notes on but you know, I also had to keep up with my weapon and gear and --weapon?

After a particular lunch break we were moving on back to our mission.  We got back into our groups and we headed out.  I remember we had to go from one wooded area to another by crossing a small two-lane road.  When we crossed a road we had to post road guards so they'd run ahead, look for and/or stop traffic then the troops would all cross.  Making sure all my guys got across I went last but then I ran back up to the front.  I remember as I was running it felt lighter.  I was loaded down with gear but some how something felt different.  What was it?

I looked down and all of my gear was secured to my pistol belt and I lifted my hands . . .my hands were empty. . . my hands were EMPTY-----------

I took off running like wild fire -like faster than I have ever run in my life but this time, I was going in the opposite direction of my platoon.  I was going back to where we had been . . . back to where

I left my weapon . . . 

I didn't even tell anyone I was leaving or I'd be right back.  The very instant I realized I left my weapon behind I took off--back through the woods but this time, not to Grandmother's house.  No, probably right to jail.

I ran across the street we had previously crossed, not even looking for traffic, though it really wasn't a busy street.  Then back to the area we had stopped to eat lunch and - - -there leaning up against a tree, right where I had left it was my weapon and . . . .

the weapon and tree was flanked by FOUR Instructors.  Standing there with their arms folded.  Looking sternly at me.  As soon as I saw them I stopped dead in my tracks, afraid to approach them but you know, I had no choice but to retrieve my weapon and I had no choice but to take the wrath . . . .

So I slowly walked up to them, breathless and tired.  They shook their heads and said, "We were just waiting to see who this belonged to."   I tried to explain but the more I talked the worse I made the situation.  My Instructor told me to get my weapon and he'd deal with me later.  As I was walking away one of the Instructor's called me back and said, "This is just training.  In a real Army situation you'd probably be dead.  You are defenseless right now and instead of this being your Instructors finding your weapon it could have been the enemy.  Not only that you came all the way back here unarmed and alone.  Alone."  He simulated shooting me and said, "Now you're dead."