Sergeant Major Said

Sergeant Major looked at me and said, "What did you do to him?"

What did I do to him? I was confused. What did he mean? Oh well he explained.
Sergeant Major wanted to know what signals I gave him --what I did to lead him on and make him think I wanted his advances.

I had to respect Sergeant Major --he held a lot of power over my career at this point so I was trying to hold back but what I wanted to say was----well, I'm not going to tell you what I wanted to say because it wasn't very nice. But I was shocked and offended. I told Sergeant Major I didn't give any signals and I had not done anything and in fact, the first time it happened I made it clear that it wasn't okay --but the Sergeant just laughed.

Sergeant Major went on to say you know-- it’s just that all these things are happening only to you. I said, "No, Sergeant Major, all of these things are happening to all of female soldiers but they don't speak up because it does no good, nothing ever gets done or we get treated like --this."

Sergeant Major said, "Yeah I understand but ---the showers and ...."

"The showers were not my fault, Sergeant Major. Even if that was something I wanted, how could I possibly arrange for something like that?"

There was more conversation but mostly CSM not believing me --oh he had even asked me, "Are you sure his hand didn't just brush up against you as you were walking up the stairs?"

Uh, no --it was a GRAB.

So CSM said he'd talk to the other guy and I got the feeling CSM thought he'd deny it, it would be his word against mine and the matter would be dropped for lack of evidence.

But the Sergeant's guilt got the best of him and he admitted to both instances and even went as far to say that, “No, Sergeant Dodge didn't lead me on.” He admitted it was intentional and he did in fact intend it in that manner.

Soooo back to Sergeant Major's office I went. And now Sergeant Major had a different attitude but he was still on the guy's side. This time he wasn't blaming me but he wanted mercy from me, mercy on this guy. Sergeant Major went on to explain, "The Army doesn't take sexual harassment lightly [no they don't, they just don't believe you when you say it happened] so I have no choice but to press charges against this soldier. Now you understand this will probably ruin his career. He will most likely get an Article 15, loose rank, money --are you sure you want to pursue this? He's really sorry and said he won't ever do anything like this again --so can't you just take his apology and leave it at that?"

Again, I'm just so offended and angry I'm being treated in this manner. This was not appropriate. It wasn't. I said, "Sergeant Major, that's not really my call. I'm not in this soldier's chain of command so what actions are taken against him, if any, is not my call. I reported what happened. That's it."

"But Sergeant Dodge, if we press charges against this soldier it could break up his family! Have you even thought about that? This guy really doesn't want his wife to find out. And he has three kids! If he gets an Article 15 and gets a reduction in rank and money taken away, that's just less money for his family and children."

I'm standing there thinking how or why this guy's family suddenly became my responsibility or consideration.

Sergeant Major continued, "What if we just give this soldier a Letter of Reprimand? It will stay in his school file but not his personnel file and this way his wife and family won’t have to suffer."

I had enough of this conversation and I had enough of ALL OF IT. They won. They wore me down.

I said to Sergeant Major, "Okay. I'll agree to the LOR and I won't press this any further." I could tell CSM was relieved. He thanked me and said, "It’s really about his wife and kids, they shouldn't have to suffer because of this. That's all he's thinking about."

I pursed my lips together and said, "Trust me, it wasn't his wife or his kids that he was thinking about when his hand was on my ass -- twice!"

Sergeant Major looked shocked and stared at me for a few seconds and said, "Well, that's all, Sergeant. You can go now."

So I started to walk out and he said, "Oh, but I'm going to need you to sign a statement. I'll have one prepared for you and I'll let your instructor know when it’s ready for you to sign."

"A statement about what", I asked.

"Oh just that you know, this was all one big misunderstanding and you were confused –it wasn’t a grab but just a friendly tap –like you know, a guy thing, like ‘Hey, good job!’ and that it wasn’t sexual or harassment.”

Oh that statement.