My Voice!

I wish I could say I left the Sergeant Major's office pumped up and encouraged.  I did not.  I left feeling deflated and weak.  I felt just like everyone else, he just didn't understand my woes, my feelings.  I went to bed and the next morning I had to stand before my Platoon again.  Later that day, after some time to really digest the CSM's words, it was time to march the platoon to chow.

Thinking about what the Sergeant Major told me and getting yelled at in front of my entire platoon for marching poorly, I starred at the guys standing there at the position of Attention and I thought to myself, "Let's go, Melissa --let's march these boys!"  I reached deep within myself --like I took a deep breath that sucked the air from the bottom of my feet all the way up to my neck --I reached down into the gurggliest part of my belly, deep down into the pit --I went way down there and as that air moved up it was gaining momentum and then right there at my chest, I wrapped my heart and soul around it.  I thought about all of the "injustices" that had been done to me, all the unfairness and harassment.  I thought about being a girl and acting like a girl and having to find that balance of soldier and woman.  I took all that frustration and anger and confusion and I put it all into a voice. 

One voice. 

My voice. 

And I sounded off . . . .

With a thrust of confidence . . . .

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT FACE!

FOOORRRRRRRRRRRRWARD!

MARCH!

You're left, your left, your left, right . . . .

And we were moving --they were moving at my command.  One unit --all moving in unison.  We had rhythm and we were moving.  It just felt right, I could feel it and they could feel it.  There was an exchange of energy between us; me and my platoon!  And I kept them marching while I sounded off with cadence---

OH MAMA MAMA CAN'T YOU SEE (oh mama mama can't you see)

WHAT THIS ARMY'S DOIN' TO ME (what this Army's don' to me)

OH MAMA MAMA CAN'T YOU SEE (oh mama mama can't you see)

WHAT THIS ARMY'S DOIN' TO ME (what this Army's doin' to me)

WHOA--OH OH OH (whoa--oh oh oh)

WHOA-OH OH OH (whoa-oh oh oh)

WHOA-OH OH OH OH OH

And they were sounding off loud and thunderous.  The timing was perfect.  The movement was perfect.  Everything just felt right --and I was having fun, a lot of fun --more fun than I had in a very long time and then *giggles* I got an idea.

Because I thought about the time they sang cadences I didn't like and I thought, "Its about time for a little pay back, don't you think?  I've had just about enough trying to be a girl in a man's army."

So I continued singing and marching . . .

I USED TO WEAR MY FADED JEANS (I used to wear my faded jeans)

NOW I'M WEARING ARMY GREENS (now I'm wearing Army greens)

I USED TO WEAR MY FADED JEANS (I used to wear my faded jeans)

NOW I'M WEARING ARMY GREENS (now I'm wearing Army greens)

They were sounding off loud and we were marching.  THIS is what a platoon is supposed to look like!  This is what a platoon is supposed to sound like!  I was calling cadence and they were singing loud. We were killin' it.

So I continued . . . .

I USED TO HAVE MY HIGH HEELS ON (I used to have my . . . . .)

NOW I'M MARCHING ALL DAY LONG (now I'm marching all day long)

Wait, what's that?  Oh now they aren't sounding off quite as loud.  They were confused.  I was amused.

I USED TO HAVE MY HIGH HEELS ON (I used to have my . . . . .)

NOW I'M MARCHING ALL DAY LONG (now I'm marching all day long)

WHOA-OH OH OH (whoa--oh oh oh)

WHOA-OH OH OH (whoa--oh oh oh)

WHOA-OH OH OH OH OH
 
I USED TO WEAR A MINI SKIRT (I used . . . . . . . .)

NOW I'M CRAWLING IN THE DIRT (now I'm crawling in the dirt)

I USED TO WEAR A MINI SKIRT (I used to wear. . . .)

WHOA-OH OH OH

WHOA-OH OH OH (whoa--oh oh oh)

WHOA-OH OH OH OH OH

I marched them all the way to the Mess Hall and I never missed a beat.  I didn't slow my cadence, I didn't miss a step --I kept going and marching and singing.

We got to the Mess Hall and I could see the instructor, the one that yelled at me, running towards me. 

Oh brother, here we go again.  I'm in trouble again!